Things That Shouldn’t be on a Soccer Field During a Game That Were on the Soccer Field during a Game

The following is a comprehensive list of things that, throughout the football tournament in Nyakoi, I have seen on a field* which I think should be elsewhere during play.

*By “on a field” I do not mean simply encroaching into the playspace. I mean impeding the progress or affecting the flow of the game due to their presence alone.

-a pack of four donkeys
-a pair of donkeys
-three children riding donkeys
-an old woman with bananas on her head
-an old woman with firewood on her head
-an old woman just taking a stroll (who made no effort to move more quickly when the action approached her)
-Fighting children (this was seen a ridiculous amount of times, but I will write it only once)
-A convoy of motor bikes
-a BUNCH of chickens
-crawling infants
-a rake (I could not believe it when a player knelt down in the taller grass and pulled up a rake… how dangerous is that!? And we can’t even afford a first aid kit to deal with the consequences)