A few weeks ago, we had our Close of Service conference, where the people who came to this country with me all met to discuss leaving this country. One night, we all got dressed up and went to a fancy restaurant in Kombo to celebrate all of our accomplishments. I filled my plate with delicious goops and full grain rice, and lots of Tandoori chicken. As I started to eat the chicken, holding it in my hand and gnawing at it like a Gambian is wont to do, I thought to myself: Is this what I did in America? Is this what Americans do in a fancy restaurant? Is it inappropriate to do such a thing? And honestly, I can’t remember. The fact that it came off of my own plate instead of a communal food bowl was enough formality for me. I started asking people around the table. I started with those lucky girls who had gone to cotillion, or been trained in the art of manners. They both said they thought no. I asked the American, here subbing for only a few months. He said it depended on the situation.
So, this is my warning to you. I will most likely need to be retaught the most basic of manners and etiquette principals, or at least be de-taught the Gambian way.
Here are probable problematic areas.
- As discussed, I will have horrendous manners. In this country, it’s accepted and expected that people will eat with their hands, gnaw off a hunk of meat and throw the rest back into the middle, and to spit bones on the floor (which also happens to be the ground) around them. Tables are never eaten upon, spoons are rarely seen, and forks and knives are unfamiliar tools.
- I will speak in strange language. I think it’ll be pretty easy to switch back to English full time, but I know some stuff will stick. For example:
o Iyoo (pronounced ee-yo): used instead of ok or booyah.
o A banta: means it is finished. This phrase can be used for everything from the food on a plate to the time remaining in a movie.
o Inshallah: this phrase is proof of my living in a muslim country. It means, “If Allah wills it” or “hopefully”.
o There are a bunch of simple phrases that we use with other Gambian Peace Corps volunteers that no one else would understand. Asobe means things that look the same. Bumsters are the delightful beach dwellers who just want some attention. Gatorade is so much more than it actually is.
- Here, I sweat almost every hour of the day – and I STILL wear clothes at least two days in a row, just like my Gambian counterparts. I recognize the stigma Americans have of wearing the same thing two days in a row, and therefore, the region known as “wardrobe purgatory” – where the clothes are not totally clean, but they definitely do not need to be washed yet – will grow even larger.
- Clicks. Although Mandinka isn’t a language with clicks, Gambians use clicks to say all sorts of things: “I disapprove”, “Yes”, “No”, and “That’s way too expensive”. In a year of teaching fourth graders with attitude I didn’t pick it up, but after two years living with a Gambian family, and now I commonly make the sucking click-y nose that indicates disgrace or disapproval.
Also, I can’t explain it, but I have subconsciously picked up two distinctive clicks: one which means yes and one which means no. I can’t explain the difference now, but you’ll see when I get home.
- Shamelessness. Here in the Gambia, we tell it like it is. If you have diarrhea, you literally say your “stomach is running”. If you have to relieve yourselves, you say in Mandinka, “Pee is mine” or “Poop is mine”. It is important to mention exactly what is yours, because each of these bodily functions requires a different facility. People will tell you exactly what’s up. In addition to the influence of Gambians, Peace Corps volunteers are also free about telling their poop stories. I probably will proudly announce or tell the tales of my gastronomic woes – stop me if you don’t want to hear them. The same goes for stories of strange rashes or skin infections.
- There are a variety of useful hand motions I will probably retain when I return to America. If you’re too far away from someone to properly greet them with a handshake, you can clasp your hands high above your head and then shake the whole thing at them. A hand signal my dad can vouch that I have down is the finger wag. It means, You’re bad, or, I don’t agree, or, I don’t want that, or, No thank you. My favorite hand signal is done by simply putting your hands to your sides with your palms facing down, and then flipping them over, with as much of a flourish as you want. This literally means ANYTHING. In whatever situation you’re in, it asks the obvious question. If it’s a car approaching and you do it, it means, Where are you going? If a phone is ringing and you can’t find it, just flip over your hands and people will understand you mean, Where’s the phone? It works great for those of us with mediocre to poor language skills.
Stay tuned for the second installment of “Weird things I’ll Do When I Get Home”.
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